Side note: Every time Steven Seagal looks at a computer, you can see the most hardcore Asian-fetish pornography reflected in his little glasses. Wait, here comes the comic turn! You’ll never see it coming!Īfter all this time, Inadequate White Dude #32 explains that he’s not here for wisdom, he just wanted to use the wifi! To play World of Warships! You know - World of Tanks for people without the personal mobility to click that fast! You look like somebody put Steven Seagal in the microwave and forgot to poke holes. Seagal has one extremely brief martial arts scene in the entire two minute commercial, and that bit has seen more doctoring than… probably Steven Seagal. Seagal spouts uninspired “Asian sounding” advice like “strength is not enough, use your mind,” and the director cut out the part where everyone giggles except Steven Seagal. You already know how the rest of this “funny” ad goes: The default white guy from every character creation screen enters into a training montage with Steven Seagal, the white guy you get after hammering random. Imagine the disappointment you’d feel after trekking to the roof of the world and entering this sacred mountaintop temple… only to find the “monk” is a shitty proto-weeb who looks like somebody Magic Markered hair on a thumb. Let’s just finally say it! Primorsky, you are the leopard print jetski of Krais. Like he’s not living in a sprawling ranch-style McMansion in whatever Russia’s Florida is. The official commercial announcement opens on the mountain temple where Steven Seagal dwells: Steven Seagal has done a number of hasty, ill-advised commercials that were not a good match for his brand, which is something along the lines of “Internet Tough Guy Without the Internet.” But his appearance as a playable character in World of Warships, one of those exploitative freemium wargames, fit him worse than his poorly-tailored, mildly offensive jackets.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |